I am almost... almost... finishing up my second year of degree. I have some more submissions to do and a couple of papers to take and then I shall tick off my second year.
Malaysia, if you hadn't already know, is still under a national lockdown. It's devastating. Once I completed this semester, that means two semesters and half of online learning.
Each time I open Instagram my eyes would feast on my schoolfriends studying overseas currently enjoying summer under the sun, going to arcades and visiting cities. And here I am, under my roof, woof.
Which in a way is good. It means we have enough that I do not have to work part time jobs or anything, you know. Alhamdulillah for that. In this devastating time in this devastating country, I have more than enough. Alhamdulillah.
But in a way it reminds me of what could have been.
I always say that I don't really have regrets. Which is true, actually. Because I always remember that I have done my best and why I chose what I chose.
But of course I am still aware of the what-ifs.
What if I got a sponsorship in 2019 that allows me to study in my second-choice uni in the UK? What if I got a higher pointer and got into my first choice of UK university AND secure a MARA scholarship?
I am still aware, though, why I didn't get any of that. I am still also aware that I have done my best, and despite the failure I was still nimble to strategize for another second best. And that's what I love about me.
You know, at that time I guess I didn't really understand the importance of studying overseas. I thought it's just a matter of having employers awed with the name of your university, which is really shallow, especially for employers honestly. Public local unis also produce good degree, I thought, and still think the same. But then lately I realised that it's not really about the uni. Well, maybe that's not the importance that flattered me lah.
What flatters me now about studying overseas is the ease to emigrate. Once you have a foreign university in your resume or CV, it's easier for you to be seen as the potential employees there. If you have an Australian degree, it's easier to work in Australia. Same goes anywhere else in any other country. And I thought with a Malaysian degree can still "apply work overseas", oh sweet child Hajar.
Well. So that's what on my mind lately. For your context a lot of my friend study overseas and of course there is always the talk of youth emigrating on the social media, especially what with the ever-corrupted and disappointing government we have right now. Obviously those friends can easily stay there after degree. But the ease does not apply to me. That would be a very huge leap for me and other locally educated friends. Because their huge leap, the cultural leap, was already when they study and adapt the culture there. But then what do I know, I am never in their shoes. And I don't mean to bash my friends studying overseas. I'm just. Sad? Hopeless? For the other youth left in the country.
Anyway. Can't wait to just tick off this second year of degree. Please pray that I pass the every subject huhu.
p/s "Don't worry you can still do a postgraduate degree overseas" pish please are postgraduate degrees still relevant if you're not aiming to be an academia? Study loan some more
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