it's the end of October, and referring to the subject above, another life update.
life kinda feel sucks at the moment.
and I know that I'm gonna sound soooo ungrateful right now.
but I unofficially landed a job. the place I was doing my internship offered me a role, and I accepted upon knowing that the job scope is actually my dream job. but it is still unofficial, though, and that still scares me a lot, but we're slowly moving towards handing over a certain task from my Exec's to me.
that's on the career aspect. on the love aspect, as always, I am still single. but what makes life sucks is that I caught feeling on the Executive I am working closely with, and I just figured out that he has a girlfriend, and it's not helping that lately our colleagues keep teasing him with some other girls in the organisation. And maybe I could have called myself an idiot for catching feelings towards someone that I work with, but I tried really hard not to, ok. I gave whatever happened a lot of doubts, and I told my friends just to make sure that my doubts are true, but Idk. And it sucksssssssssssssssssssssss that working there means I'll always have to look at his face. He's nice, seriously, but how do I move on if I will always continue working for him lah? And how am I going to start dating other men if I am so attached to him?
and life feels so lonely at the moment. my friends are back at their respective universities, and I'm one of the few that is starting to work. and it's not helping that I want a boyfriend!!!!!!!!!! a boyfriend that I really like, of course. and at the moment I really like my Exec.... I always have lunches alone at the office, and it feels so isolating especially when surrounded by the GMEs who are chirping with their flocks. Yes, I do feel rather jealous of their nature of starting their career with a group of friends to belong to, unlike me that is all alone, floating and having to be extra proactive joining people.
but then I remember that relationship or marital status never really guarantees shelter from loneliness. You can get married and still feel lonely. People in marriage still feel lonely, people surrounded by friends could still feel lonely, mothers feel lonely. The villain is loneliness, not really my relationship status or anything. I'm typing this whole thing while listening to Conan Gray's People Watching on repeat, btw.
adulthood sucks. there i said it
Comments
Post a Comment